But now you have tossed us aside in dishonour. You no longer lead our armies to battle. You make us retreat from our enemies and allow those who hate us to plunder our land.
Psalm 44:9-10 NLT
Life is often a battle. When a loved one was taken ill and when those I trusted undermined me, I fell into self-pity.
We can all experience self-pity, but sometimes we get stuck there.
Wallowing in self-pity undermines our willingness and capacity to respond to God and drives us to make matters worse by seeking inappropriate levels of acceptance and support from others. The worst outcome is that we find ourselves all alone, abandoned by others simply because we demand too many of their human resources of empathy and support.
Alternatively, we can choose to build mental resilience and give thanks to God that we are never abandoned. Acknowledging our feelings, but determined to end the downward spiral such negative emotions inspire within, opens us up to experiment with different actions. Instead of investing mental and emotional energy into reinforcing my self-pity, I choose to explore alternative ways of looking at and dealing with my circumstances.
For me, I start to count my blessings; there are many situations worse than my own. I switch attention away from myself and seek to facilitate someone else in their troubles. I stop my complaining and work on building an optimistic outlook. There are always things I can give thanks for, even when I’m struggling with my life. So I’m grateful for my daughter, a roof over my head, sufficient food to eat today, leaving tomorrow to take care of itself. In these ways I claw my way back from blaming God for failing me to giving thanks that God is with me, building resilience – a tough but important medicine.
QUESTION
Do you struggle with self-pity?
PRAYER
May I choose to find you in every moment and draw fresh confidence from your provision and love for me.
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