“Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”
Ephesians 4:32 NLT
Not forgiving others is like letting stones build up around my heart. These stones can produce two reactions. They can provoke me to ponder over the ways I feel wronged by another. Every time I invest energy in that direction is like taking out each stone and giving it a polish. As I polish it I invest further in the resentment, hurt and feelings of rejection I hold. The second problem is that when I fail to get rid of these stones they accumulate, gradually building a wall around my heart. Then I cannot receive the love and affection I crave from other people or, most importantly, God.
As I was in my deepest pit caring for Katey, I took very personally what I viewed as the deliberate abandonment by friends. It was only made worse after Katey’s death when I felt no one was willing to help me get back onto my feet and find work. I realise now this was God’s process to enable me to take stock and deliberately choose the life I have today.
Still, I had to face up to my tendency to blame others for failing me. I was disfiguring the God image in them and fatally damaging myself. I had to acknowledge that my learned behaviour pattern was more about anticipating rejection and then provoking it through my actions.
So what to do? Instead of polishing stones and erecting walls, I was to invest my energies, practically and prayerfully in forgiving others. They may never know I held a grudge, but that was irrelevant. All I needed to do was to forgive, and by so doing, soften my heart and nurture kindness rather than resentment. It was a tough discipline, yet one that reaped rich rewards.
QUESTION
Have you built a wall of unforgiveness that is restricting the flow of God’s love in your life?
PRAYER
Lord, soften my heart towards those that have sinned against me, just as you do.
Soulspeak13.jpg