Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth.

Psalm 73:25 NLT

Maybe it’s is an attribute of ageing, but my desire for material things has declined with the passing years. I am no less intrigued by contemporary debates, nor less motivated by my walks and reflections, yet birthdays and Christmases come and go, and I struggle to think of anything I want. Another consequence of ageing is the loss of friends and connections as illness and age closeout mortal lives, some far too soon, from my human perspective. It raises thoughts about what it might be like to be alone in a fast-paced world managing one’s own declining health.
I am disinterested in material gifts that are of momentary use and limited enjoyment. I value companionship, conversation, laughter and encouragement. Every audit carried out among ageing communities collects and collates all the challenges this natural process brings. I know my mum has struggled with the natural limitations, the aches and pains that accompany her as she is now in her 90s. I am also concerned that she still carries some real fears, which she finds difficult or perhaps refuses to voice.
Only a fool blindsides themselves from the reality of ageing. It’s equally foolish to believe we can make some financial provision that will meet what is an existential rather than a practical issue set. This is the reason perhaps why unhappiness is not uncommon within homes established to offer the ‘best’ end-of-life experience. Only in hospices have I found a creative atmosphere. Maybe because death is no longer deniable.
My ambition is to discover if I can get to a point where I desire God more than anything else. I’m much closer than just a few years ago, which I attribute to the positive outcomes of the path of contemplation.

Do you crave material gifts or spiritual gifts?


Do a work in me, God; transfigure me into a fresh realm of existence so that knowing you and walking in your ways is the heartbeat of my ambition and reason for living.