Do not remember the rebellious sins of my youth. Remember me in the light of your unfailing love, for you are merciful, O Lord.
Psalm 25:7 NLT
Despite not having a particularly colourful past, I often realise I’m mulling over past events. An insistent, inner voice wants to use such memories to prove that I have no right to call myself a disciple; I am a fraud. It can become a significant distraction. If I allow it to establish a hold, it becomes all-consuming and I begin to doubt, even denigrate myself. I have had to learn to contest this voice and surrender such memories to God. I simply acknowledge the memory and immediately turn to God. I recall that I cannot be loved by God more than I am in this moment. No action can or will enable him to love me more. The fullness of his love for me was demonstrated at the crucifixion, and I can only gratefully accept that I am loved entirely. And what’s true for me is true for you.
If necessary, I may need to apologise to someone. I also need to surrender my self-perception to God and adopt his. I try to be shaped by God’s call and intention for my humanity, something that’ll accompany me beyond my mortal existence.
The great truth of the Christian way is that we are to live within the present moment. While I remain a product of my past, there is nothing I can do to change it. I am only able to act within the present. Even my future is unavailable to me until it becomes my present moment. It is only now that I’m able to encounter God and so now is essential if I am to grow in my discipleship.
The burden of the past can become all-consuming, yet it was completely dealt with by Christ at Calvary. Learning to live in the fullness of grace that is your gift from God is challenging. But as you receive full forgiveness for that past, you can lay down its weight and enjoy the present moment with God. The freedom and peace that comes as I let go my past is indescribable. The space created to encounter God is vast.
How can you lay aside your past, once and for all?
Lord, thank you for full salvation through your cross.